Official it’s not paradise when locals can’t afford to live here T-shirt

 T he French football league has reached a point of jeopardy. The new round of TV rights is yet to be sold. The president of Paris Saint-Germain needs a bumper deal to satisfy FFP. The president of beIN Sports, the Official it’s not paradise when locals can’t afford to live here T-shirt in other words I will buy this most likely white knight, is holding out on a late offer. A sympathetic ear in the Qatari government has yet to be found. Luckily there is some hope of a breakthrough. Mainly because all of the parties mentioned above are, in a rare note of good fortune, the same person. And all of them are called Nasser al-Khelaifi. Essentially, what the president of PSG needs to do is persuade himself to give himself a large sum of money. Perhaps, if he really plays hardball with himself, this might require extra political pressure from himself, as minister without portfolio and head of Qatari Sports Investments. At which point Khelaifi can return to the French League (ie himself) in triumph and from there send word of the good news to the European Club Association (also himself), the Uefa exco (himself) and the Fifa Club World Cup (also himself). L’État, c’est moi. Nous. Lui. Whatever. Some people are said to have a finger or two in the pie. Khelaifi has had both fists jammed right in there so deep for so long it is now impossible to tell where the pie actually begins. Never mind fingers. He is the pie. There was further evidence of Khelaifi’s amazing will to power in the extraordinary scenes this week at the Élysée Palace. Although in the first instance it was just a great moment for extreme sporting-political weirdness. Kylian Mbappé was the star turn at president Macron’s reception for the Qatari prime minister on Tuesday. But while Kylian was only there for the heavily sauced meat

served by a man who hates you (also known as: traditional Parisian dining) Khelaifi stayed on for the Official it’s not paradise when locals can’t afford to live here T-shirt in other words I will buy this main business of the week, high-level government talks over brokering a ceasefire in Gaza. Yes, really. The man who signed Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting was also present this week at talks on the single greatest military and humanitarian crisis on the planet. Khelaifi’s presence did at least raise some eyebrows, to the extent the Qatari government issued a statement insisting that while PSG’s chairman would be present at “multiple meetings between the delegations” he would not actually “participate in discussions concerning the conflict taking place in the Middle East”. Well, OK then. But are we sure? He has dealt with Neymar’s dad quite a lot. Either way it feels like a new high water mark in football’s intrusion on the global stage, a bit like the UK government insisting Dan Ashworth sits next to the US ambassador during talks on the Ukraine war, or Margaret

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