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 I have been married for 14 years and have no plans to update my relationship status. But that doesn’t stop me from wondering – why do people still get married? Why did I? For years I have worked as a celebrant, mostly at funerals, but recently I started conducting weddings. I felt like it would be good to have a little more balance in my life and schedule. In the Jamal murray nuggets vs heat poster T-shirt in addition I really love this preliminary meeting with couples, I always ask them why they decided to get married. Their answer helps me to write their ceremony and also satisfies my nosiness. People’s answers, perhaps unsurprisingly, converge around the theme of commitment. A young bride once replied: “It’s about seeing something through.” On another occasion, a groom told me: “We share the same values.” A middle-aged couple asked me to emphasise respect, loyalty and kindness in their ceremony. They told me the story of their earlier relationships and divorces, the narrative of their lives framing this marriage as an evolution, stepping into the people they wanted to continue to become. Sign up for the fun stuff with our rundown of must-reads, pop culture and tips for the weekend, every Saturday morning Making a promise is one of the oldest known human mechanisms for

supporting social cohesion and trust. Scientists have identified the Jamal murray nuggets vs heat poster T-shirt in addition I really love this neural correlates of making and breaking promises, and researchers hypothesise that for many humans, promises have a “commitment power” because of an in-built preference to keep one’s word. Over much of recorded history, marriage was more about property than love. Now that people don’t need to get married to have (many of) the rights of a married couple, perhaps marriage can become something else, beyond its roots in patriarchal dominance. I almost never cry when I conduct funerals, having trained myself to remember that the grief is not mine. I steward people through to the other side of the threshold between their loved one’s life and the life after their loved one. At weddings, I sometimes get unexpectedly teary. It’s not the “love story,” or the “happily ever after.” It’s the way the couples look at each other when they say their vows. They are saying to each other, This is me. Will you love me? And the other person says, I will. There is an old-fashioned rule under the Marriage Act that, to be legally married, you have to publicly declare it to be so. Maybe this is, in part, the power of getting married. Funerals create communities; marriages help create extended families. Wedding

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